CASE 8 – MY WOMAN WON’T TOUCH ME (BSS)
Toya shook her head. “We don’t advise men.” She giggled. “Though I could just imagine a desperate Frank come on a platform like ours.”
“Exactly. This sounds interesting but short,” Abigail said.
“As expected from a man.” Toya smiled. “Can I read?”
“All yours, Mrs. Odion,” Sybil said.
Toya smirked. “Yeah, right.”
This is not where I should be airing my complaint, but I have heard so much about you ladies, and as married women, I think you may be able to answer my query.
My name is IT and I have been married for seven years. It hasn’t been easy, but I love my wife very much. Recently, she got promoted at work, and I understand, her responsibilities have increased – she works for a chain store that deals with children’s clothes – as she is now a manager.
Before she got the promotion, to make love was a task. She would come home tired, and I understand. We have a three-year-old daughter, who is very active too. But I don’t think this is an excuse for a woman to not want her husband.
“It is not,” Sybil muttered.
I really understand, I do. But I am tired of begging her every night for what should be rightfully mine. I have done some research online, but nothing suggested has worked – give her time, romance her during the day (she hates being called or texted during work hours unless it is an emergency), make weekends special (she sometimes works on Sunday) – and so on. What do I do, ladies, please?
“Hmm, what does he do?” Toya exchanged glances with the other two.
“I don’t think a woman, who is in the right place in her mind will deprive her husband because of work.” Sybil shrugged. “I mean, I speak from my own experience. I didn’t want sex because I had other things I was dealing with, which necessarily didn’t have anything to do with Jimmy.”
Abigail arched an eyebrow. “Like?”
“Well, I was abused physically in my previous relationship, so I was dealing with that, and thinking this guy would brutalize me too.” Sybil swallowed. “I was raped, too.”
“Yeah, but let’s assume the wife of this man does not have issues.” Toya inhaled. “That for seven years their marriage has been good, and the change is just the job.”
“That’s an assumption, though,” Abigail said.
“My point exactly. There may be something else this man has not said.” Sybil rolled her eyes. “Let’s think. Why would a loving wife suddenly, because she’s busier at work not want her man?”
Toya peeked at the message. “He didn’t mention how long this has been going on. Only that it started after her promotion.”
“I mean, I am a housewife, so, I may not be in the best position to say much,” Abigal said, “but do I sense some jealousy in this man’s tone?”
“I sensed it too,” Toya said. “He sounds a little like he doesn’t approve her job.”
“So, it’s subtle but it’s there.” Sybil smiled. “And maybe he’s subtle with her too. Or tried to be subtle and she saw through him.”
“It makes sense that she will withdraw.” Toya nodded. “You know, we women are like a road network in centre city. Everything connects everywhere. While men are like a village road. One way in, one way out.”
The other two laughed.
“I like that. But it’s true,” Abigail said.
Toya shrugged. “She’s noticed he’s withdrawing from her career prospects and she beings to withdraw from him emotionally, which manifests first in bed.”
“The worst part is that he doesn’t realize.” Sybil chuckled. “He doesn’t make a connection.”
“He needs to start supporting her career and be more positive about it.”
“He needs to make offers, maybe to drop her at work? Or order dinner instead of for her to come home and cook.”
“Watch the baby while she rests once in a while.”
“Take her to a spa.”
“I like that.”
“More importantly, he needs to try and get her to talk to him. Confide in him. He needs her to trust him. It may not be any of these things we’re saying.”
“Well, not too bad to advise a man, after all,”
“More will pour in, believe me.”
“Bring it on, lol.”
“Let us pray.”
CASE 9 – HE MADE ME FALL FOR HIM, NOW HE DOESN’T WANT ME
“He’s a fool.”