CASE 11 – ON SUBMISSION, IS IT IN EVERYTHING? (BSS)
“Yes,” Abigail said.
Sybil snickered. “No.”
Toya laughed. “Being married to a military man seem to have toughened rather than humbled you, Sybil.”
“Yes o, you can’t be married to my husband and be weak. Or he will override you.”
All the ladies laughed.
“Let’s see what this question is about.” Abigail cleared her throat. “Dear BSS Crew.”
My name is OY, and I read your column every day. It’s like my lifeline. I have learned so much and I am still learning. Six years ago, when I got married to my husband, my father gave me a piece of land in Lekki as a wedding gift. The area at the time was not developed and he casually said it was mine.
My father is still alive, but he called me recently and told me he wanted to survey the land in my name and give me the documents. And I thanked him. Until last week, I have not given thought to whose name will be on the property; then my husband called me and showed me the submission thing going on in the Christendom. The popular guy calling out the big man of God on the issue of submission.
The first thing my mind went to is the land my father has given me. I never told my husband about it because I never thought of it as a big deal. I mean, I got a lot of wedding gifts including a car, and it’s all in my name. Some my husband knows about, like the car, and some he doesn’t know like jewelry from my friends and so on.
We got into a debate and my husband agrees with the man of God. I agree with the celebrity guy. What do you think? And specifically, should I tell my husband about the land Daddy gave me. It’s worth almost half a billion naira and the most expensive thing my husband and I have.
Sybil rubbed her palms. “Hmm, tough one.”
“Well, let me start by saying I come from a very poor background. Land worth half a billion naira?” Abigail laughed. “They bury gold inside?”
“Ewoo! Abigail! You won’t kill me o!” Toya screamed. “Banana Island has property worth millions of dollars. This her land sef may just be two or three plots.”
“Can’t be up to an acre,” Sybil said.
“How can land be so expensive? My husband just sold one acre of his land for whether two hundred or three hundred.”
Sybil scoffed. “Million?”
“Thousand!” Abigail gasped. “Hian! Lagos na wa!”
Toya bent over laughing.
“So, anyway,” Sybil swallowed her laughter. “Our girl OY obviously comes from a lot of money. Doesn’t look like her hubby does, though.”
“She doesn’t say. But the land is the most expensive thing between them.” Toya shrugged. “Doesn’t mean he may have a lot of money too.”
“You know, somehow, I’ve been expecting this to come up here,” Toya said. “Submission is such a delicate topic. Frank brought it up honestly and supports the unbeliever guy. Wives submit, yes. But the Bible also says we should submit to each other.”
Sybil leaned forward. “So what do you think about submission, Toya?”
“I agree, wives submit in everything. But husband too should submit in everything.” Toya shrugged. “We all just do it at different degrees based on trust. The more we trust each other, the easier it is to submit.”
“I agree. I don’t think someone should impose all submission on the woman alone.” Sybil snickered. “Regardless of who has that opinion.”
“Many pastors’ wives suffer in silence,” Toya said softly. “See the one who just got killed.”
Abigail grabbed her head. “Don’t remind me.”
“What do you think about submission, Abigail?”
“I really think a woman should submit in everything, and a man should love his wife,” Abigail said. “That’s what I was taught growing up. And it’s what I practice in my marriage. Also, remember I am so much younger than him, and far poorer, less educated.”
“And you know that is also a real debate that I have heard of. You know,” Sybil said. “Difference in class, age and status generally make it look like the woman must submit.”
“I just like to stick to what the Bible says on that and try my best to do it,” Abigail said.
“Again, you have a husband who loves you and won’t take advantage of your submissiveness.” Toya pointed at Abigail. “Someone easy to submit to.”
Abigail laughed. “Well, yes. He minds himself most of the time.”
“The word of God still says wives submit, husbands love,” Sybil said. “I’ve heard people argue the husband needs to love first, which makes sense because Christ first loved the church.”
“True.” Toya exchanged glances with the ladies. “So, to OY. Should she tell about the land or not?”
“I think she should but only after her father gives her the papers.”
“In her name or she should ask for the land to be in both their names?”
“In her name! It’s her gift.”
“And for someone already saying he believes a woman should submit in everything, I don’t trust him.”
“It may just be that he respects the man of God who said so. Many people just follow anything a man of God they respect says.”
“Which is silly if you ask me.”
“That’s why they sow their monthly salary and starve while the father in the lord is flying private jeep!”
“Chai! You will not kill someone. You have issues. Shey, you know.”
“I know. I don’t sow nada!”
“Okay, that is for another day. Do we have our verdict?”
“She should tell her husband about the land, only after she gets the papers. Papers of the land in her name.”
“Should she tell her father to put the land in her name or with her husband’s?”
“She should leave that to her father’s discretion but if he asks about it, then she should have it in her name. Alone.”
“We should learn to build trust. That’s more important. Then nobody cares who is submitting to who. Because we are both effortlessly submitting.”
“If we all mind ourselves, hahaha.”
“Let us pray.”
CASE 12 – I JUST HEARD HIS SECRET!
“I hate secrets.”