CASE 15 – HIS MOTHER INSISTED ON SLEEPING ON OUR BED (BSS)
Sybil rolled her eyes. “I don’t.”
“Well, shall we say, I am comfortably in the middle.” Abigail laughed. “When I first arrived with my husband, my mother-in-law welcomed me with joy until she discovered I was Moses’ widow.”
“I can just imagine how horrified she was.” Toya gasped. “And, I mean, let me just ask. How did you even feel marrying your once-upon-a-time brother-in-law?”
Sybil snickered. “Who would have told her, anyway? Wasn’t that supposed to be none of her business?”
Abigail shrugged. “Elijah and I decided we would not tell anyone any of what happened back in Rivers. But then, after like a week, my mother-in-law came to our house huffing and puffing.”
“Maybe she went to find out about your family,” Sybil said. “My mother-in-law did. Very nasty woman!”
Toya shouted. “Investigating has its advantages o!”
“Of course, not when you mean it for evil. And ignore the good part and push only the bad.” Sybil snapped. “No family or person is perfect.”
“True that,” Toya said. “So, Abigail, talk to me. Moses just died and you were next thing cuddling his baby brother.”
Abigail threw back her head and laughed. “Chei! Gbeborun can kill some people.”
“Plus gbefila and gbegele!” Toya nodded. “Thank you. Answer question.”
“This is so funny.” Abigail chuckled. “You sef, don’t you see the guy? Heaven sees my heart; I fell for him the first time I saw him. Moses who?”
All three ladies laughed.
“I mean Moses was good riddance, honestly, God save his soul in heaven, but I was glad to be free of that marriage.” Abigail clasped her hand over her mouth. “Will God strike me down for saying that?”
“I can’t blame you.” Sybil shrugged. “You were how old, sixteen? He was cheating on you with a small boy, not giving you money…”
Toya scoffed. “You were abused! All the more reason why you should steer clear of his brother.”
Sybil arched an eyebrow. “Hian, Toya. Calm down.”
“I guess many people see me like that.” Abigail sighed. “The boy fine na!”
Sybil laughed. “You still making a joke of it?”
“I should cry? Huh.” Abigail kissed her teeth. “Elijah makes me happy. He’s compensation for how I suffered with this brother o!”
“Anyway, what’s this mother-in-law wanting on somebody’s bed?” Toya squinted at her screen. “Let me read.”
Dear BSS Crew. My name is EJ. The last time I visited my parents-in-law with my husband, my mother-in-law spent two hours straight berating me for being a bad influence on her son, while he sat there just gazing into space. Each time he tried to talk, she shut him up.
I told my husband I was never visiting his family home again. If any of them wanted to see me, they should come to my house. The truth is that his parents have never been supportive. On the contrary, out of their five children, my husband, who is a middle child is the only one who tries the best, giving, visiting, making me and our two children visit and so on. I have been my best, but these people are not satisfied.
Anyway, about four months after that visit, Mummy took ill. My husband offered that she should come and stay with us. I am a nurse, my husband is a doctor, and we could take better care of her with her in our house. I had two housemaids, and my two school-age children liked her.
Well, first night in our house, she complained that she had nightmares when she slept alone in a strange house and wanted to sleep in our bed. My husband and I exchanged glances. I shrugged and told him to do whatever he wanted. That night I was working night duty. But after I left the house, I had second thoughts.
Mummy has been in our house for a week and has slept in our bed every night. My husband pushed in a small bed and slept on it while I have slept with our daughter on the nights I did not work. I don’t want to do this anymore. It’s not right. What do you suggest?
Sybil gasped. “Pure bullshit, excuse my Efik!”
Abigail laughed. “It’s Yoruba people who curse o, not Efik!”
“Her Ijesa people, abeg, not all Yorubas,” Toya said.
“Okay, excuse my Ijesa.” Sybil rolled her eyes. “But really. She what?”
“Which she? Mother-in-law or EJ?”
“Both! I will never agree to leave my bed for any mama! I even trust Jimmy.”
“Good point. If her husband did not object…”
“Exactly. He even moved a bed into the room so he could sleep with his mother.”
“Strange times and things.”
“Strange gini? Oh please. It’s not right. It’s madness.”
“Mama has fever. Why blame her?”
“I will scream that fever out of her body.”
“Believe me, a mama who can spend two hours berating you, fever or no, can scream louder than you o.”
“What will you do?”
“If we have a guest room, I will move there. Let her and her son be doing stupidity. I need my peace, abeg.”
“I think her son should not condone that. Or they return her to her house, maybe with one of the maids until she gets better.”
“Or I join my bobo on the small bed. We make wild love until mama carries her wrapper and leave our room.”
“You have killed me. No! That is the comedy of the century.”
“Orgasm that I have not had for two weeks sef, I will explode it.”
“Oh, dear Lord.”
“Yelz! Nobody will tell her to get out of my room.”
“Can we be serious?”
“We are being serious!”
“Huh! So, is that a verdict?”
“She should go and join her husband in the small bed?”
“And give him head! Desperate times call for desperate measures, baby!”
“Please, abeg. Let us pray. You two are way over your heads.”
“Let us pray! Haha.”
CASE 16 – MY BROTHER IS MAKING ME LIE TO HIS GIRLFRIEND
“Didn’t we see this story before?”