CASE 17 – MY PASTOR TAUGHT ME THE MEANING OF BLOW JOB (BSS)

“What does it mean?” Abigail said.

Sybil and Toya spoke at the same time.

“Don’t be naïve, come on.”

“Ahn! Is she married to the pastor?”

“I don’t know what it means!” Abigail exclaimed. “Is it every marriage term you know?”

“Considering it is not a marriage term but a sex term, I expect you to know,” Sybil said.

“I have only known two men in my life o!” Abigail cried. “The first was gay so you can imagine what sex was like with him, and the second is the gay man’s brother.”

The three burst into laughter.

“Well, it’s not like I was a randy somebori!” Sybil rolled her eyes. “But it’s just street language that means giving a man oral sex.”

“Oh.” Abigail’s eyes widened. “Why blow job? Or I see. Hian.”

“You’re so naïve.” Toya smiled. “How old are you again?”

Abigail pouted. “Old enough.”

Sybil turned to her screen. “Anyway, is she married to the pastor?”

“Let’s find out,” Toya said.

Dear BSS, my name is SO, and I was a member of a big church. If I mention my church, you would know the senior pastor. He is always in the news doing a big program or speaking with big people in government. When I was sixteen, and the church had only one branch, my father, who was the pastor’s old school mate, sent me to live with him while I wrote my JAMB and external WAEC. Daddy thought it was good for me to be under my pastor’s watch at such a young age, especially because I didn’t do too well in school. Pastor’s wife was very nice too. They had twin sons who were both younger than me by a few years. The atmosphere in the house was very calm. Another sister from church lived with us, and there was a housemaid too.

The first month went well. I loved living in Pastor’s house. There was always activity and fun, his wife was very kind, there was plenty of food. Pastor was strict and we prayed every day and studied the word in a very spiritual atmosphere.

One day, after everyone had gone to bed, Pastor came and knocked on the door of the girls’ room, where I slept with the other sister and the housemaid, and called me. I was already asleep and disoriented. He said I should come with him to his private study. And there he asked me for a blow job. I didn’t know what it meant. Especially because he looked very serious and calm. When I told him, I didn’t know what it was, he calmly explained it to me in detail. And told me it was the least I could do for him.

Till tomorrow, it baffles me at the calm and simple way he made that request. It was close to three in the morning. Everyone was asleep. He could have been asking me to get him a glass of cold water. I remember I shook my head and exclaimed, “Daddy!” He only smiled and told me I had to do it. That he would be very displeased with me if I didn’t.

I have condemned myself over and over again over the years for going on my knees that night while he sat in his huge swivel chair and suck him until he came on my face.

“Dammit!”

Because it didn’t stop. A few nights later, while his wife and children slept a few doors away, I did it again. And again. And he wanted more. He disvirgined me. He got me an abortion. He gave me an STD. Finally, at the end of one year, I got admission into the university and left his house.

It’s been fifteen years. Ten of those years I actively treated a stubborn STD. No one knew where I got it from. I couldn’t tell. A doctor told me it could just keep coming back in different forms, and I may never have children. I got married to a great guy about five years ago, who I told everything, but now I am afraid this guilt, and hatred for this pastor will never go away.

My husband and I decided never to bring it out. God has been kind to us, and we are blessed with a son. I still see some symptoms of that horrible disease, but it is not serious. But I think I will never heal and it is my punishment for willingly doing that with the pastor.

I haven’t been in touch with him since then, though my father still tries to keep in touch and appreciate him. One thing though, I fought like mad and they didn’t send my sister to the pastor’s house when she was about sixteen.

Do his wife and children know? I don’t know. Does he do this to others? I really don’t know. I just want to heal. He is very big now, so I will never come out with this especially because I am a nobody and I will be chewed raw if I try. But I just needed to vent and to tell any young girls out there never to allow fear or intimidation to make them succumb to such evil manipulation.

“Ahhhhh! I could scream!” Toya screamed.

“This is the worst form of abuse.” Abigail shuddered. “I can’t. I can’t deal.”

“I’m totally speechless,” Sybil said. “You know, I see things like this in the news and I smirk. I could never believe those stories.”

Toya gasped. “But why? Girls get abused like this every day!”

“I know. But by a man of God?” Sybil sighed. “Why would a man of God do this to a teenage girl left in his care?”

Abigail leaned forward. “So, you don’t believe this story?”

“I do! I certainly do. Just so baffled.”

“When we were growing up, two girls, my mother always told us she would believe us. Even if it was Daddy.” Toya shook her head. “She’d say it in front of daddy, and I always thought she was extra.” She shrugged. “But as I grew older, I realized she gave us the best self-esteem.”

“Wow! That is so important. To build such confidence in a young girl.”

“I read this story and I ask, where were the mothers? Her mother and the pastor’s wife?”

“Eleven months running, and he was doing that, and Mummy Pastor never found out?”

“My yansh!”

“I feel she knew and just turned a blind eye.”

“I feel pain in my stomach.”

“She just wanted to rant, poor woman. But at least, she got a good man.”

“Abi! Thank God.”

“Nonetheless, we need to post our free call and text numbers. If anyone is sexually abusing you, contact us immediately! Even your father does not deserve to be protected.”

“Or mother.”

“Aunt, uncle, neighbor, pastor!”

“We’ll send SO a bunch of roses. What city is she in?”

“Ah, close enough. Great.”

“And we will be praying for her and all other girls and women dealing with this.”

“Shall we pray now?”

“Yes, please. Lord have mercy.”

 

Photo: https://pixabay.com/illustrations/woman-face-contour-burnout-blank-73403/

 

CASE 18 – TWO BROTHERS IN LOVE WITH ME, WHAT DO I DO?

“Tell both off, are you for real?”

“Remember one old Brad Pitt movie where the girl went through all three brothers?”

 

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